WARNING: May Contain Uncontrollable Urges to Chant "U-S-A!"
Listen up, patriot. If your current t-shirt can't withstand the shockwave of a bald eagle screeching the Star-Spangled Banner, then it's time for an upgrade. This isn't just a shirt; it's a 6.1-ounce sledgehammer of freedom you can wear.
Forged from 100% pure, grade-A American-spirit-infused* cotton, this tee is tougher than a two-dollar steak and more comfortable than a 10-day weekend. The "relaxed fit" means you've got plenty of room for liberty, justice, and an extra helping of apple pie. We garment-dyed it to give it that "I've been wrestling bears for my country" look right out of the box.
Put it on and feel the power. Side effects may include scaring away telemarketers, attracting high-fives from strangers, and developing a sudden expertise in grilling.
100% Ring-Spun Cotton: Woven from the threads of liberty itself.
Fabric Weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²): A heavyweight freedom-fabric that laughs in the face of lesser shirts.
Garment-Dyed: Pre-faded with the glorious light of 1,776 suns.
Relaxed Fit: Because freedom shouldn't be constrained by a tight collar.
Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability: Tough enough to handle the recoil from your patriotism.
Double-needle everything: We double-stitched it because 'Merica doesn't do things halfway.
Blank product sourced from Honduras: Because freedom is our #1 export. We sent an eagle to personally quality-check each one. Probably.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
